One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
