I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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