Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
