wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
