Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
