Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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