i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
