Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
