If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
