I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
