I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
