your thong is hanging out like whoa
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
