I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
