cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
