Kareoke will never be a sober sport
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
