I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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