I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
