Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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