R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
