she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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