Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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