Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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