dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
