do herpes really smell.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
