Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
