Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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