just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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