Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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