Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
