the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
