Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
