"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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