I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
