I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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