I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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