So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My vagina is very pro this idea
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