You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize