dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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