I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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