You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
