You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
