Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
