dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize