whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
