I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
