do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
