i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
