i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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