i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
