"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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