like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
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its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
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I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize