Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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