I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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