Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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