No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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