Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
