It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
